time to relax...

Looks like i'm too free today... well, i seriously need a break now... this weekend is all for me & only me... I'm not going out anywhere... i am going to slack at home & relax... I'm physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually drained... Phew! I need a break man... another abt 3 weeks & i'm off to Bintan!!! yes, another ferry ride (not enuff with my daily rides to Bukom)... the oni thing i have in mind right now? FULL BODY MASSAGE!!! Yes! i wanna hear all my bones crack from exhaustion.... seriously, working is not as easy as it seems... Yday, I had my own home leg spa for my legs... LOL! hey, atleast it help ease my leg pains...

Well, i was slacking the whole saturday... Woke up really late ard 1130 (I was receiving SO MANY calls & smses from morning 9am till 1130am... some of dem were random wishing me good morning... Grrrr... I shld have switched off my hp... suddenly ppl started missing me... haha!

watched a bit of movie & been eating ALOT!! I mean it, ALOT... I hate staying at home... i tend to eat alot... Blogged a bit, wore my track shoes & went for a walk aft three long weeks... since my back injury, i haven been exercising & could feel myself getting weaker... even my brother told me my wrist is very weak wen he was holding my hand... after this, i gonna hit the gym... Muz follow my buddy to the gym... wat say u??

after walking for 2hrs, i came home really thirsty... I was so thirsty, i came home, drank so many cups of water.. not enough, i went down to 7-11 immediately, bought Orangina, Ginger beer, 2 big pkt of Sunkist orange juice, one big bottle of Cranberry Juice, One big bottle of Ribena, one can of crysenthenam tea, one can of grass jelly & lastly, 4 packets of Magnolia Fruit Yogurt... Now u understand how thirsty I was? I spent $20 juz for these drinks... If my mom finds out i shopped in 7-11, she so gonna kill me though it's my money... Shhh...! dont tell her!

called all my student parents and now, i'm blogging again.. i'm actuali enjoying the peaceful night at home... though it's fun going out meetin up wit frens, but at times u juz need some time to urself... maybe i shld catch the tamil movie in central ah? i wonder wat they're showing.. tata!

I wonder... we're juz so comfortable with each other... maybe it's just friendship?

shape of my heart

I dont know how I did it but I did it... It took me lots of guts to do it cos I've never done it before & was SO afraid something bad might come out from it...

To that special someone, thanks alot for not shunning me... I was so afraid I might lose the trust we had...

Love ya...

OooWee~!

Thurs was an interesting day for me...not gonna eleborate on wat...

Well, after work, I followed Gopi to Ubi to check his bike... And tis guy knows practically everyone in Ubi...! All the bike & workshop fellows... Checked his bike cos he's going to KL for three days so it's gonna b a LONG ride der... (wish I cld go on a hol too... cant wait for 27th July - Bintan!!)

After all that we head down to Bishan for dinner in one of the coffeeshop. Ok, here's the interesting thing, I ordered Thai Mee Goreng which was really good & not so spicy... the interesting thing is, there were garnishing... hahaha! they had a rose out of tomatoe skin & cucumber slices with heart-shape drawn outta chilli sauce... we were surprised by it.. Even Gopi who's a regular der... i ddnt have the heart to eat it... hehehe! here's the pic:



Haha! i cant believe i actuali took the pic of these... Gopi is getting smart these days... he asked me to take the pic of the food b4 eating to show i had a rose on my plate... Hmmmm... I've rubbed some influence on him... kekekeke!

Den went down to bishan park (or trail or watever it is)... talk awhile...very simple nice peaceful place...esp after work & all... can destress...den went back home... simple thing though... but it was my unforgetable nite in a way... =)

Hugs

Something that I wanted for so long have been asked & given last night...

But will it last forever?

It's all in your hands...

Stringing of the chanted beads

This week been a boring week... Well, another one more day to Friday... Yippie!
Monday went to some stupid "entrepreunership course" with Gopi to some place in Eunos & boy, it was the same old networking stuffs... Shldnt have gone for it... Hahaha! Oh well, sometimes we fall into traps right? =P

Yesterday I went to Moulmein centre in Novena for stringing the chanted beads. I met up with my bestie, Lavanya & her boyfriend, Rej. It was really interesting... I tot it was a good quality time spent with Lavanya doing something in the name of God. I really enjoyed it except the fact that I was tired after work & couldnt string the beads through the hole.. It was giving me headaches...

Had a great dinner & also good chat with Lavanya... Been long since we've met & tok.. Need to catch up with her real soon...
They walked me to the MRT station & they took the bus back home... Long journey back to my house & was so exhausted...

Something stupid really hpnd while I was going home.. But thank God nothing hpnd..

Oh well, hopefully my weekend would be fun... No plans yet... Have to plan something...

Next monday onwards my OT will be starting.. Sianz!

Facebook

Guys, open facebook...It's so fun!

Undergoing alot of stress

I wish I could smile each day...

i am really stressed up with alot of things...like REALLY alot...My paper work is piling up drastically & I really feel so helpless now... REALLY helpless...My sup is pressurising me so much so I feel like taking unpaid leave for a week to rest...I cant take it anymore... I hate opening my e-mails every morn to see end-users chasing for stock & buyers chasing for payment cos invoice nt being processed? sucks man! On top of tat, the most hurtful thing is my frens whom i tot i love so much is hurting me badly... nvm abt tat... b4 qns starts flying,i'd rather nt say much here...It's juz so bad...I cldnt stop crying tis whole aftnn at work bt den i tot,who am i living for?? MYSELF..Ultimately,the last person who can save me, MYSELF.

I wanted to go to some place quiet to scream my lungs out...it's all bottled up inside me & cant contain anymore...i need to let it all out... i feel i'm being suffocated...cant breath...cnt stop tearing...but does all tis worth? nope...

Gopi brought me to Labrador Park which is very near to the jetty... I muz really thnk him alot cos I was really down I felt my hands are tied & my chest has tightened...we walked a bit...it was really breezy & felt good as the air touched on my face... i felt relived...

well,we were toking crap & stories which were hilarious...all the childhood stuffs he did...haha! cute...and here's a cute pic of him...and i wonder wat's wit number TWO...:














along came a chinese guy who wanted to sketch Gopi's face...Apparently, he likes Indian guys cos they got clearer & sharper features...:















maybe he cldnt find any other Indian guy...HAhahaha! It was the best time to disturb him while he was being sketched...he cldnt turn or make any drastic movements...so i took the opp to pinch the cheeks which i so been waiting for... (oh well, i oso got it in return)... Grrr... niway,had fun teasing him the whole time cos he cnt do much... kekeke! oh ya, the chinese guy's sketch was really good... he was practising his skills... and he was good...

as usual, pictures was taken... here's P.Bukom taken from Mainland Spore...it looks so small... Here's where I work:



A little bit more picture b4 we made a move:




Afterwhich, we head dwn to Seah Im hawker for a drink...sat der for abt an hr,pouring out watever we can (not all exactly) & oso sme thinking session about --> LIFE. yes, the crucial thing...

Hungry so we head down to Spize in River Valley...The food was good...really...i love the drink though... it was really nice...it's some herbal tea which calamnsi,ginger & sme other stuffs...again,learnt few shocking stuffs abt life...(I seriously have a LONG way to go to know wat's the world like out der...need to tok to more mature ppl to learn more abt their experiences...)another round of sharing session...

head dwn to his fren's place who met an accident tat morn...boy! he had a bad fructure on his arm... (Bike accident)... He was tellin us how he met into the accident & stuff... oh ya,the guy's niece is SO cute! 10mth old baby & very chubby!!! Shakila is her name... =) she's a friendly baby...she ddnt cry wen she came to me... adorable...

den head back home...juz one day, i learnt so much... and oso went thru shit feelin the whole day...and now,i have to take things one thing at a time... I have to think about it... -->wat do i really wat??? sigh~!

I wish i could smile everyday

Saturday afternoon...

Sat afternoon was pretty lazy... I met up with Gopi in Jurong Point for some NTUC shopping... grapped a basket & shopped! oh well, i wld say we had a healthy shopping... Guess wat?! I DID NOT touch the chocolates.. really... Well,1st thing tat went into my basket? cherry tomatoes... Gopi threw tat into my basket... der's no turning back..i gotta eat dem... LOL!

Bought Soya Bean Milk with low in sugar & rich in Omega... I guess my body gonna lack of glucose! haha! I oso bought Vitagen (my daily dosage), wholemeal cereal, wholemeal garlic bread,sunflower kennels with honey, yogurt with berries & other stuffs... Gopi bought twin pack Soya Bean Milk pkt & turkey strips.. I wonder if the turkey strips taste good.. it look yummy!

Looks like i m gg on wholemeal diet plan... b4 tis, i bought wholemeal biscuits wit low in salt & oatmeal biscuits... I oso bought a tin of oats... Cutting down on rice as much as i can & realised tat we actuli lose wght faster! of cos, need to work out as well... as much as i can, i gonna prepare lunch instead of eating at work... the choices arent as healthy...

After tat we went for lunch... Had a good chat over some matters... I'm still confused and unsure on wat to do.. really.. smetimes, things seem to be too good to be true.. I guess, it takes time to knw wat exactly we want & with whom u wanna spend ur life with... with the rest of ur life...

Lunch was good... den we left JP... I went over to Gopi's place (dont ask how we managed to carry the stuffs on the bike) & started dizzling... Lucky it wasnt very far...

I saw all his albums!!! OMG, both he and his bro look alike esp wen they were younger... I finally managed to differenciate which is who in the pic.. hahah! they got different eyes... His bro's eyes are deeper... and Gopi looked SO cute wen he was a toddler... wit his curly hair.. haha! well,Superman hair, tat's wat he claims... =P

ok, so after glancing thru all the pic, i realised tat both the brothers look more of their Mom... But Gopi's mouth part looks like his Dad... However, his set of teeth follow his Mom's side... I noticed all his Mom & her sisters (4 of them) have same set of teeth... haha! Big discovery ah? well, I love to compare faces among siblings & parents to see who take on whom.. Habit i guess... cos in my family, me & my siblings look way different... Haha! who do i look like? My Dad or Mom? not too sure.. wen i was younger, they told me i look juz like my Dad... but now, they're tellin me i look like my Mom.. so ya.. i leave it to u to decide...

It was a quiet hang out in his place while waiting for the rain to stop... I was more engrossed wit the albums... it's so nice.. saw their parents wedding photo too.. they were arranged... they had the traditional indian wedding... it was nice... My parents ddnt hve the traditional wedding..Oni ROM den dinner... tat's it cnt gt the chance to see their wedding pic..

After rain & all,and a bit of walking ard in sme flea mrkt (maybe i shld consider der ah?), he rode me back home, again wit the stuffs... managed to carry dem on the bike again.. and reached home safely... next,gotta follow all the dietry plans.. haha!

**Am i really short tempered?**

I need a BREAK

I dont wanna sound so emo but tis is wat's been happening...
Lack of sleep, lesson plans, temple issues, superly overloaded at work,monetary issues,

my health issues, my backache affecting my spine now, issues of my life, lack of companionship... so many issues...

where to start? where to end?

I guess I am going thru some kind of crisis...

I hate becoming an adult

so much of responsibilities

i'm being eaten up each day

my brains are not functioning

my backache is now affecting my spine.

i cant stand, sit or walk properly

and stubborn me,not seeing the proper doc

i wish someone will bring me to a paradise for a months break

yes, that's what i need now

...BREAK...

CONFUSED

Sometimes I feel so lonely

That no one is here for me

You see me in my daily grind,

So confident and strong;

Yet when I am alone,

I question

Just where I belong.

Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,

To understand it all,

For can we ever truly know

Just what we have in store?
Or will it leave me broken,

And confused as I feel now,

While questions bring no solitude,

To this, my wrinkled brow.

Me on MC again... Sianz!

Hey peeps... ME on MC again.. I woke up as usual to go to work.. after i bath, changed & left the hse, i felt giddy... so I went back home to slp.. and woke up oni at 1230!!!

I went to see the doc and he gave me stronger pain killers for my back... it's reali painful... It got worst juz now.. Ouch! i hate tis man! seriously...backaches are the worst aches to get.. u are nt free to do anythin...

After that Gopi & Tracy met up with me near my place... So sweet of dem ah? thnks guys.. =)

Well, we had dinner... I had dumpling soup, Gopi had his oways fav chicken & Tracy chicken wings wit rice... we chatted alot.. and we were sitting in sme open area & was reali breezy.. been really long since i sat in an open area facing those HDB hses... it's reali relaxing, chatting away and or ya, we took pic too!! as usual... kekekek!

Gopi wantd to see sme furtnitures for his hse so we went to see sme sofa and den we left... Now back hme.. sianz! boring... hahaha! i hate taking MC.. the whole day will be boring... well, tm back to work.. play time is over! AaaarrGGgghhHH! I wonder wat's waiting for me..

here are sme pic we took...I look damn shagged:




well, we seriously hve nthin much to do...hahaha!

An explanation...

I realised tat lately I've been blogging about my backaches... well,wat else has been new? nothing... sobz~!

Ok, so I went to temple for meetings over the weekend (welcome back to temple)... Sat was a whole day thing... For the 1st time, i enjoyed the meeting with my co-gurus.. we had a small presentation, discuss our lesson plans for the next term,good food etc... bt as usual, my back was giving me prob making me feel so uncomfy...

I stayed behind aft meeting for my Yoga lessons.. after SO long,i finally went for it yday... I cldnt do the exercise bt did my meditation.. the meditation was REALLY good... I cld feel the energy.

After tat my family went down to West Coast for dinner. Nthin much hpnd though. Today, again, i went to temple to discuss abt the Journey with Joy booklet for the level... it was a short meeting. I stayed behind for awhile but my backache was getting worst I cldnt stay any longer so i took a cab back to my hse... Took my medication & slpt...

Boring weekend ah?? I know..

Friday~...

Today i was on leave & out the whole day... Morning I woke up at 8 to go down to Polyclinic to check my back & get myself a referal letter to a specialist to check my back or atleast a x-ray.

My Mom accompanied today to the clinic.

Ok, wat hpnd was, i got the same b*tchy Doc i saw on Wed... She's horrible.. Trust me... I went back to her complaining abt my backache & tat it got worst last nite.. it's seriously very painful etc.. She check my spine & told me she dont see any prob. I requested for referal letter bt she DONT want to give! She asked me, wat if i refer u to a bone specialist bt der's nthin wrong? u cant do anything rite? Well, i asked her for atleast an x-ray... again she asked me, wat will u do if der's nothing wrong? watcha gonna do??? Well, den i will know der's reali nthin wrong! seriously, she's darn bloody stuck-up! Wat's her prob wit her refering me???

If anything serious hpns, i am gonne SUE her.. really.. it's MY body & I have EVERY rights to know how my back is & it's smething not to play ard wit!!!

Oh well, she gave me more medicine... yah.. like any better?! I will wait till Monday... if my back is still aching, i gonna go hospital str... if they find smething is wrong, i gonna file a complain to MOH against tis stupid doc... she's gonna get hell man! the best part... she told me to take care wen i left the room... yah.. i shld hve turned ard and told her to watch out... stupid bugger!

Well, besides all this, I met up with Jivi & later Rania in Bt Batok coffee bean... We had a good chat & I cldnt stay long cos I was goin out dinner with my family.. We went down to Bedok for dinner & had a good chat (accompanied wit loads of insults & laughter).. we were teasing esp my mom alot.. Hahaha! she's damn cute!





And oso my Dad who is a Bangladeshi:


and my crazy siblings... we were camwhoring in the car frm bt batok to bedok!!!:


my crazy sis... u see her???:

More of us...:

my crazy bro:


Well, after tat,while driving back, we were singing & laughin alot.. and suddenly my Dad suggested we shall all watch Ocean 13! Hell yeah!!! so we bought the 1120pm show (we oni go for MN shows) & also,teasing my mom to the max (she reali cldnt take it)... Hehehehehe! The movie was great man! $72m? hahahahaha! yeah right!

Back pain.. again!

for sme reason, i reali hate this week...

1stly,i'm overloaded at work... e-mails after e-mails... calls after calls...
end-users chasing me stuffs? my sup asking me this & tat?
I am doing my Sup's job oni to realise tat i'm nt being appreciated.
why do i need to work so hard?
For what?

Ok,cos of sme stupid body positioning & lifting stuffs, I sprained my back AGAIN!
it was as bad as last month wen i had it.. I couldnt sleep the whole nite cos i was SO in pain.. i went to bed at 1230am & cld oni slp at 530am cos the whole time i was crying in pain...
it was so intense I was preparing myself to b admitted.

I wantd to wake my parents up bt i ddnt want to worry dem & also, i cldnt get off my bed or move an inch... i was lying on my back.. Boy! why i nvr tot of calling my parents using the hp?

I prayed to Swami to take the pain away & amazingly,the pain become less intense & i cld turn to my side & managed to catch one hr of slp..

Woke up @ 630am.. much later den usual & managed to bath & put on my clothes... went to Bukom to see my company's Doc & told me it's juz muscle strain... and gave me painkillers. bt it was still the same so i took time off & came back to spore to go to Polyclinic.. again,she said the same thing.

The pain is still der & cant sit for more den 5mins.. the pain comes back & makes me feel so uncomfortable. after much consideration & consulting sme of my good frens, i am going to the hospital. back problem is not a joke & shld b taken seriously. tis is nt the 1st time either.. it hpnd so many times so tis time round, i'm going to the hospital str...

I have great frens ard me to show me some support.. all their genuine concerns.. =) Thnks Gopi,Sekar & Tracy... =)This guys really really showed alot of concern & I really appreciate tat alot... Of cos, all my other frens too... I reali hope it's nthin very serious..