hey peeps... I've decided to move to another blog... pls take note...
14 July, 2008
10 July, 2008
been missing for sme time... oh well... been working a lot lately... getting calls from SIM & so many other official matters... I wanna get Pink Health too... it's going at a cheap rate cos of my age.. anyway, better to be save den to be sorry...
I went for My Neighbour My Friends's event over at Kembangan on Sat and it was raining... but it subsided juz as the event was abt to begin... I went there for skipping challenge... yeah... skip for good cause... for every 10 skips, one bowl of rice will be donated to the needy... we had to do 100 skips... well the good thing is, my Area Manager picked me up and I got a new Dairy Farm tee... oh well...
I wanna make a drastic change to my hair but i'm waiting for it to grow a little longer before doing smething to it... i'm sick & tired of my hair...it's been the same for 22 yrs (tho i've tried various hairstyles over the yrs)... oh well I cant wait to turn more heads..! hehehehe!
oh well, been so busy like i mentioned... the store i'm working at is undergoing major renovation...it's gonna have a complete new 3G look... it's starting on Mon! now how cool is tat? but we gotta work 12 hrs each day for packing etc...
***i wonder wat hpnd to my fren... the sentence? oh dear... no peace of mind...***
Do I look like a pirate? Muhhahaha! 
The tag we had to wear... and 7-11 had the most supporters... ;P Ding-Dong!
04 July, 2008
oh what a day!
yes, woke up pretty early today... my shift started at 7am so I took a pretty long shower, my make-up was almost perfect (well almost) i could even apply sme eye shadow... oh well, so much being at the front line... looking presentable and not rude... I could even iron my tee & have a conversation wit my Dad whom I haven seen for 2 weeks tho we live under the same roof... oh well... he looks guilty tho... who cares...
anyway, went to work looking all fresh & I especially loved my hair today... anyway, was a busy day where so many customers wanted to pay their bills or get a new SIM card...
and oh ya, sme guy came into the store and it was crowded... this chap asked me if there's any new SIM card he could register and I told him yes (tho inside me i was sulking cos it's a long process to register it). And so he asked me which service provider is good. So since I tot he muz be sme newbie to tis and to make things easy, I tot i could promote the ongoing promotion by Singtel instead of blabbering wat we have... and guess what?! Apparently he's a "mystery shopper" from Singtel to check if we promote the ongoing promotion by dem! since I recommended Singtel, I got myself a $20 Choice Voucher on the spot!!! I was stunned but kinda expected cos I read it on our weekly sales bulletin tho it was stated last mth... didnt expect it to be tis mth as well!! now how cool is tat?? haha! thinking he was a newbie & to save myself to explain tis is wat i've got! coooooolll!
after work, I was in high spirits cos there wasnt any prob & decided to do a bit of shopping to pamper myself for all the hardwork i put in for past few mths... (the last I shopped was in April! tis is SO not me). Got a long yellow skirt from Series, bright blue, grey blouses & tees from Gio... and i totally agree that shopping is so therapathic... seriously... it makes me feel SO good.. oh ya! bought sme hair accessories from SIX too... looks yummy on me! ;P I also bought some make-up from Revlon... eye shadows, pencil eye-liner & lip gloss... Next stop is The Body Shop... need to replenish my face powder and toner... maybe some night cream too... i think it's gonna finish anytime soon...
i think i need a notebook to do up my shopping list... I think i need a pair of jeans too... maybe some nice lingerie too...
yes, woke up pretty early today... my shift started at 7am so I took a pretty long shower, my make-up was almost perfect (well almost) i could even apply sme eye shadow... oh well, so much being at the front line... looking presentable and not rude... I could even iron my tee & have a conversation wit my Dad whom I haven seen for 2 weeks tho we live under the same roof... oh well... he looks guilty tho... who cares...
anyway, went to work looking all fresh & I especially loved my hair today... anyway, was a busy day where so many customers wanted to pay their bills or get a new SIM card...
and oh ya, sme guy came into the store and it was crowded... this chap asked me if there's any new SIM card he could register and I told him yes (tho inside me i was sulking cos it's a long process to register it). And so he asked me which service provider is good. So since I tot he muz be sme newbie to tis and to make things easy, I tot i could promote the ongoing promotion by Singtel instead of blabbering wat we have... and guess what?! Apparently he's a "mystery shopper" from Singtel to check if we promote the ongoing promotion by dem! since I recommended Singtel, I got myself a $20 Choice Voucher on the spot!!! I was stunned but kinda expected cos I read it on our weekly sales bulletin tho it was stated last mth... didnt expect it to be tis mth as well!! now how cool is tat?? haha! thinking he was a newbie & to save myself to explain tis is wat i've got! coooooolll!
after work, I was in high spirits cos there wasnt any prob & decided to do a bit of shopping to pamper myself for all the hardwork i put in for past few mths... (the last I shopped was in April! tis is SO not me). Got a long yellow skirt from Series, bright blue, grey blouses & tees from Gio... and i totally agree that shopping is so therapathic... seriously... it makes me feel SO good.. oh ya! bought sme hair accessories from SIX too... looks yummy on me! ;P I also bought some make-up from Revlon... eye shadows, pencil eye-liner & lip gloss... Next stop is The Body Shop... need to replenish my face powder and toner... maybe some night cream too... i think it's gonna finish anytime soon...
i think i need a notebook to do up my shopping list... I think i need a pair of jeans too... maybe some nice lingerie too...
03 July, 2008
a break is needed... badly... my body is aching SO badly... i'm hardly at home & i havent had good food for so long... been eating junk food a lot thanks to my busy busy busy schedule...
I desperately need a good body massage, food & company... oh... not forgetting, a good slp as well...
work been really sucky... serving insensitive people... my patience been wearing & so is my smile... it's no longer plastered on my face...instead it's a straight line... neither nor...and u gotta stand for 9 freaking hours with no break, u cant sit for more den 30 seconds & u hear ur stomach growling so u grab smething in the store only to put on more weight cos it always end up being a chocolate or sme really sweet stuff...
i starting to hate everything & everyone... I cant stand to see people in the store anymore... every single one seem to irritate me even the cutest guy... i answer everyone in monotonous tone... I starting to hate a certain race as well (I really dont wanna be a racist but I cant help but to hate dem)...
I also hate those Ah Pek who thinks I owe him his money, would demand like we're a piece of shit... like he pays me to work der juz for him... I hate people who are SO impatient & expect me to attend to dem immediately despite the fact I am attending another customer... God gave me a pair of hands... I can only attend one thing at a time...
I hate those who would ask me so many IRRELEVANT questions... maybe aft all these, I could join "ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER". We're ONLY cashiers there... we don't top up ur pre-paid cards, we dont make overseas calls or teach u how to use the international calling card & den blame us that u can no longer use the damn card...
KNOW what you would like to buy and den u leave it at the counter... Dont take wat u feel like and after I scan it, u say u dont wanna buy it, leave it at the counter and expect me to place it back... dont throw ur money at me or u'll get ur change thrown at u as well... have the decency to give respect for fellow human being... we're not dogs... get the facts right, idiots..
give us clear instructions wat u would like... Viceroy is Vice-roy...simple... it's not viiise-roy..I dnt know wat is tat... when topping up, ten dollars is ten-dollars... not five dollars so dont blame us idiots... it's crowded and u cant expect individual attention....
keep ur wallet or purse in ur hands if u know u gonna purchase something... dont wait in the queue and den once it's ur turn, u start digging ur bag for ur purse... we all dont have all the time & u're chasing away my other customers...
Wen i say it once, get it... dont repeat exactly wat i said over ten times!!! it's God darn irritatin arsehole! when I say no more parking coupons or that it has 300mins talk time, get it into ur brains... dont keep asking me like it's SO unbelievable "AH!!! FINISH?! ALAMAK! Really ah? SO really have no more coupons is it? wen will it come?" and after answering dem, they would walk to the door and turn ard to ask again, "NO more coupons is it?" Yes damn it! u understand english dont ya?
and I obviously don't look one bit chinese so stop speaking to me in Mandarin like as if I understand wat u say... all I do is act blur and say "dont know"...
phew! tis is oni one bit... trying to keep my blood pressure down... ciao...
I desperately need a good body massage, food & company... oh... not forgetting, a good slp as well...
work been really sucky... serving insensitive people... my patience been wearing & so is my smile... it's no longer plastered on my face...instead it's a straight line... neither nor...and u gotta stand for 9 freaking hours with no break, u cant sit for more den 30 seconds & u hear ur stomach growling so u grab smething in the store only to put on more weight cos it always end up being a chocolate or sme really sweet stuff...
i starting to hate everything & everyone... I cant stand to see people in the store anymore... every single one seem to irritate me even the cutest guy... i answer everyone in monotonous tone... I starting to hate a certain race as well (I really dont wanna be a racist but I cant help but to hate dem)...
I also hate those Ah Pek who thinks I owe him his money, would demand like we're a piece of shit... like he pays me to work der juz for him... I hate people who are SO impatient & expect me to attend to dem immediately despite the fact I am attending another customer... God gave me a pair of hands... I can only attend one thing at a time...
I hate those who would ask me so many IRRELEVANT questions... maybe aft all these, I could join "ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER". We're ONLY cashiers there... we don't top up ur pre-paid cards, we dont make overseas calls or teach u how to use the international calling card & den blame us that u can no longer use the damn card...
KNOW what you would like to buy and den u leave it at the counter... Dont take wat u feel like and after I scan it, u say u dont wanna buy it, leave it at the counter and expect me to place it back... dont throw ur money at me or u'll get ur change thrown at u as well... have the decency to give respect for fellow human being... we're not dogs... get the facts right, idiots..
give us clear instructions wat u would like... Viceroy is Vice-roy...simple... it's not viiise-roy..I dnt know wat is tat... when topping up, ten dollars is ten-dollars... not five dollars so dont blame us idiots... it's crowded and u cant expect individual attention....
keep ur wallet or purse in ur hands if u know u gonna purchase something... dont wait in the queue and den once it's ur turn, u start digging ur bag for ur purse... we all dont have all the time & u're chasing away my other customers...
Wen i say it once, get it... dont repeat exactly wat i said over ten times!!! it's God darn irritatin arsehole! when I say no more parking coupons or that it has 300mins talk time, get it into ur brains... dont keep asking me like it's SO unbelievable "AH!!! FINISH?! ALAMAK! Really ah? SO really have no more coupons is it? wen will it come?" and after answering dem, they would walk to the door and turn ard to ask again, "NO more coupons is it?" Yes damn it! u understand english dont ya?
and I obviously don't look one bit chinese so stop speaking to me in Mandarin like as if I understand wat u say... all I do is act blur and say "dont know"...
phew! tis is oni one bit... trying to keep my blood pressure down... ciao...
02 July, 2008
30 June, 2008
DAIRY FARM Family Day...
Me after practising under the blazing hot sun for one hour ,the day before the actual event... no joke but we all got burnt and I got much darker den before... i still have my slipper markings on my feet...
Murthy & Raj (behind) after dancing... Look at how Murthy pose... so sexy... LOL!
Me after practising under the blazing hot sun for one hour ,the day before the actual event... no joke but we all got burnt and I got much darker den before... i still have my slipper markings on my feet...
Murthy & Raj (behind) after dancing... Look at how Murthy pose... so sexy... LOL!
Murthy & Raj loves my sunglasses... each time we go out for lunch break, they always take turns to wear dem...
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I had to wake up at 4 am in the morn to be in East Coast Park by 545am... I reached home ard 10pm the night before, catch up with my sis (after so long we saw each other tho we share the same rm), packed my stuff, iron my uniform & get ready to slp... couldnt slp cos I kept thinking abt the steps... was so restless...aft smsing my fren, i managed to slp at 2am & woke up at 415am... took a long shower, dressed up & left the house... it was so quiet & eerie but managed to catch a cab...
we did our make up & hairdo by 630am and I was the first to do it since I reached 1st... and boy! after the make up & hairdo, i looked like a black gal... the make up was perfect & the hairstyle, i loved it... it was beautiful...
after changing into our outfit (the skirt & blouse was freaking short, our ass could be seen if we bent)... but it was nice... by 930am, our cheerleading competition started... we were competing against Retail Support Centre (RSC), Shop n Save, Cold Storage, Giant & Guardian Store. I muz say, it was a tough competition but we, 7-11, topped the cheerleading... but overall, Guardian Store took the 1st prize cos the telematch they did much better... nonetheless, we had so much of fun & cheering... I miss all my team members.. the amount of hardwork we put in... but we all know we did the best for cheerleading...
ard 330 pm, we prepared to get ready to leave... I took a long shower, scrap my face off those heavy make up, wore my hideous sunglasses to hide my eyes... took train frm Eunos but couldn't stop falling asleep so I got down in clementi & took the cab home... the moment I reached home, I slpt till till morn 830am... I was so tired but I had a fun day yday... xoxoxo...
27 June, 2008
i've been returning home everyday after mid-night cos my pract ends at 10pm & it takes me 2 hours to reach home by bus... and at this time of the night, all the buses would go slower den a snail... it wuld b a good opp to get a quick nappy but the prob is, i cant... too many tots running inside my head... therefore i resort to phone calls (trying to maintain) & smses... it's seriously boring travelling alone... i try stretching out my legs on the seats (the bus wld be empty) or cuddle on my seat wit my huge bag but it doesnt help me fall aslp...
anyway, we've completed the dance steps & formation for the stunts... now is all about brushing it up & setting things right... we've been practising really hard we would be panting heavily after each dance... we would be getting our tailor-made cheerleader uniform tm... hopefully it'll looks good... extra points for presentation...
it's been really fun working with these ppl... we cant stop teasing each other & we juz cant stop laughing... seriously... gonna miss dem a lot after tis week...
Anyway, I took sme pic... cant help it cos Raj is really cute... (sigh! if only he's straight)...:
Raj talking on the phone... he was smiling away... wen asked, he claimed it was his sis... i'm having my doubts... ha!
looking tired already...wonder wat state I would be in on d actual day...and i cant believe sme of dem there tot i was a mix of chinese & indian or sme other race but indian... wat wld it be if they saw my Dad & brother? Bangla for my Dad for sure... LOL!
That's my Pom-Pom!!! never held one b4... it was so cool & felt like a real cheerleader... but it was heavy & it kept slipping off my hands...
those r my cheerleader shoes... it has sme funky designs on the side & it would b ours after tis event! now how cool is tat?
Tat's Lehn from Philipines... she's as agile as a monkey... very flexible... she's 28 btw...
Tat's sarala (on the left) and Shamini (at the front)... they're m'sian & one of dem is married... they marry really young der...
that's Raymond... he can never stop toking or keep still for more den 30 seconds... he's a gay too...
Look at Raj... pretending not to see me cos he saw me taking pic... macham laaaava seh...
EVERYONE, trust me, EVERYONE thought this pic was SO good... They tot he looked SOOOOO handsome & the background was really nice... He's got really deep & cute dimples but it cant be seen here clearly... really, all of us couldn't stop looking at the pic after it was taken... He's so cute... we all have tis cunning hope that he would become straight one day & put on more muscles... there are chances cos I feel he's getting some confidence & feeling manly these days compared to the 1st day I saw him... and he still teases me tat i gonna be his gf after I grad... LOL!
25 June, 2008
24 June, 2008
***check out the pic of my new gay fren! =P sooo cute!!! Selvam, u no more cute la! hahaha!***
it didn't take me long before I gt comfy with my cheerleading group... things r getting more fun yet tiring... despite all that, we have lotsa laughter & sharing session (food i mean...)
it didn't take me long before I gt comfy with my cheerleading group... things r getting more fun yet tiring... despite all that, we have lotsa laughter & sharing session (food i mean...)
The guys (gays) are also getting comfortable with me... so much so they started teasing me (as usual) & holding my hands etc... but I cant help feeling disappointed that one of them, the cutest in the lot, is a gay... he's so handsome! (i'll show u the pic soon...) cant help but to take pic of him & wit him... the fact tat he's a gay, I could comfortably look at him, smile & tease ard... I call him gal btw though I prefer his name, Raj. I kept teasing him that we cld get married, combine CPF & get a house together (and he cld get a PR too) but we go about wit our own lifestyle... tis thing came about cos I was telling dem I dont intend to get married ever... juz need a house, a dog & my car. well, come to thing of it, tat's nt a bad idea... legally, he's male so we could get married & there wont be any chance of us falling for each other (but I dont trust myself sometimes).
anyway,we've chosen the design for our cheerleading uniform, came up wit 3 cheers & now, completing the steps for our songs... I hope it would be good... been practising a lot (the bonus is I can lose weight!).
Today was a fun day I would say... so much of laughter... seriously... so much of it my stomach aches & i start crying... Suppose to go elsewhere aft the pract but I ended up going to Anand's house & was shocked to see the state he's in... I bought some indian food nearby & fed him cos he wouldn't want to eat at all... seeing him in such a state makes my heart ache so badly... Sometimes I wish I could juz give up... i'm so tired.
anyway, here are some of the pics I took today... looks like more pics gonna come up soon! :
That's Raj I mentioned earlier... Wearing my sunglasses which looks huge on him... LOL!
Raj posing sexily... gals cant beat him... really... especially me...
That's Ella, from China... she's really cute... guess wat? she's married & she's 24...and look us... so tired, makeup-less & sweaty...
trying out few stunts for the cheerleading...
more stunts... thank God i'm saved cos of my spine otherwise I would have to do various stunts...
the three gays I mentioned practising their moves... hilarious guys... really...
Raj & Raymond on the stairs listening to my "Mumbe Vaa ring tone... they can't stop listening to it... Now everyone in the team has that ring tone...! LOL!
that's Raymond, another gay who is SO funny! the way he behaves & toks... hahaha! and he's rather surprised I am so open with dem being like that...
a pic of me & Raj in the bus while making our way home... cute isnt he? my my! we were teased while taking tis pic that we look like a couple... i told dem yes, we're gonna get married after I grad... LOL!
my dear fren Anand looking so lost... he was a very good looking, lively chap... look what love did to him... the dumbest guy I've ever came across... Ever...
I ended up playing NFS with his bro, Arjun...
I'm so tired!!! Aarrggh! So many things to settle... damn!
Shameni ponders at the end of the day: I shouldn't mix friendship & love... it's bad... seriously bad... it will ruin everything... EVERYTHING... it's good that he doesn't know if I have feelings for him... though he knew once...
23 June, 2008
Maran's brother Suman...
Selvam so thicked-skinned... proud of his good looks & his dimples... i'm not impressed... ;Pwell, been sucha long time I went out & finally did! Dinner, movie (don't mess with the zohan)...
and den hang out with two crazy fellows all night & shivering badly cos of the weather... the rain tat nvr seem to stop... Selvam walking under the rain... the guys accompany me all night... Very sweet of dem... really... and den back to work again... cant wait for sch to start...
and i realised while typing this out I've only overnight wit only one particular guy on few occassions... usually it's my besties (all gals)
19 June, 2008
now wat?
I have to travel to Marine Parade (beside Parkway Parade) everyday... and it takes me 2 whole hours to travel... and have to take two buses! Arrgghh! Just as I tot of saving on travelling & makan expenses...
ok, the reason why I am der is cos I am in the cheerleading team for the upcoming Family Day for Dairy Farm (7-11)... We have to compete with other businesses like Guardian Store, Cold Storage etc... Sounds fun though... But have to pract everyday (besides Sun) from 3-10pm!! which means I will be reaching home aft midnight everyday... (God pls bless me).
I went there today for briefing & to take measurement for our cheerleader uniform (yes, we're doing the REAL cheerleading stunts... yes, and i can't believe it myself either)...
When I went there, I saw 3 indian chaps... Trust me, they're cute... but here's the downside of it all - they're ALL gays... yes, gays! I was SOOOO disappointed! I wasnt disappointed cos I couldn't check dem out anymore but they're so cute it's a waste, girls start crying... :'(
Why are good guys are either Married, Gays or Broke? and also very emotional?
Anyway, coming back to it, they're nice people to work with... full of laughters but I still need time to warm up to dem because 1) the indians ONLY stick on to their own kind & 2) they all know each other but me so I need some time which I think it shouldn't be a prob cos they're full of giggles & laughter...
Oh well, I called my Area Manager to discuss about my work schedule cos I can't be working morning shift (which means waking up b4 sun rises) & den rush down to Marine Parade (which reminds me of my ferry days to Bukom). I requested for OT for tm & the rest of the week till the family day event, I don't need to report to the store!! NOW, how cool is tat? I get to have fun & get paid for it! (now, i wonder if i should take back my words cos it's gonna tough doing stunts I've never done b4 besides the Dikit Barat back in sch).
Oh well, I am looking forward to the event but den again not the costume! it's gonna be tat super short skirt & blouse! (OMG! GOD bless help me here!)
Now now... let's stop eating to look gr8...
I have to travel to Marine Parade (beside Parkway Parade) everyday... and it takes me 2 whole hours to travel... and have to take two buses! Arrgghh! Just as I tot of saving on travelling & makan expenses...
ok, the reason why I am der is cos I am in the cheerleading team for the upcoming Family Day for Dairy Farm (7-11)... We have to compete with other businesses like Guardian Store, Cold Storage etc... Sounds fun though... But have to pract everyday (besides Sun) from 3-10pm!! which means I will be reaching home aft midnight everyday... (God pls bless me).
I went there today for briefing & to take measurement for our cheerleader uniform (yes, we're doing the REAL cheerleading stunts... yes, and i can't believe it myself either)...
When I went there, I saw 3 indian chaps... Trust me, they're cute... but here's the downside of it all - they're ALL gays... yes, gays! I was SOOOO disappointed! I wasnt disappointed cos I couldn't check dem out anymore but they're so cute it's a waste, girls start crying... :'(
Why are good guys are either Married, Gays or Broke? and also very emotional?
Anyway, coming back to it, they're nice people to work with... full of laughters but I still need time to warm up to dem because 1) the indians ONLY stick on to their own kind & 2) they all know each other but me so I need some time which I think it shouldn't be a prob cos they're full of giggles & laughter...
Oh well, I called my Area Manager to discuss about my work schedule cos I can't be working morning shift (which means waking up b4 sun rises) & den rush down to Marine Parade (which reminds me of my ferry days to Bukom). I requested for OT for tm & the rest of the week till the family day event, I don't need to report to the store!! NOW, how cool is tat? I get to have fun & get paid for it! (now, i wonder if i should take back my words cos it's gonna tough doing stunts I've never done b4 besides the Dikit Barat back in sch).
Oh well, I am looking forward to the event but den again not the costume! it's gonna be tat super short skirt & blouse! (OMG! GOD bless help me here!)
Now now... let's stop eating to look gr8...
18 June, 2008
today, I am gonna blog abt: Depression.
No, I am not depressed or hope not looking at things now... the reason why is cos mainly it occured to me & tot I could share some things about depression since I was toking abt it to someone yday.
personally if u ask me, it's freaky... i've seen it & been der to understand how a person behaves... they try slashing their wrist, try to commit suicide, scream & cry all the time, talk in their slp & cry, faint & never eat at all... the list goes on... it will not oni affect the individual but their loved ones too... most of these affected ppl wld think that no one cares for dem but they dnt realise how much they mean to others...
here are some things i've studied on depression & wish to share wit all of u. I hope u will get a general idea & understand about it...:
What is Depression?
Depression is a serious medical illness; it’s not something that you have made up in your head. It’s more than just feeling "down in the dumps" or "blue" for a few days. It’s feeling "down" and "low" and "hopeless" for weeks at a time.
Just like other illnesses, such as heart disease, depression comes in different forms:
Major depression (or major depressive disorder) is manifested by a combination of symptoms that interferes with the ability to work, study, sleep, eat, and enjoy once pleasurable activities. A major depressive episode may occur only once; but more commonly, several episodes may occur in a lifetime. Chronic major depression may require a person to continue treatment indefinitely.
A less severe type of depression, dysthymia(or dysthymic disorder), involves long lasting, chronic symptoms that do not seriously disable, but keep one from functioning well or feeling good. Many people with dysthymia also experience major depressive episodes at some time in their lives.
Another type of depressive illness is bipolar disorder(or manic depressive illness). Bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling mood changes: severe highs (mania) and lows (depression), often with periods of normal mood in between. Sometimes the mood switches are dramatic and rapid, but usually they are gradual. When in the depressed cycle, an individual can have any or all of the symptoms of depression. When in the manic cycle, the individual may be overactive, over talkative, and have a great deal of energy. Mania often affects thinking, judgment, and social behavior in ways that cause serious problems and embarrassment. For example, the individual in a manic phase may feel elated, full of grand schemes that might range from unwise business decisions to romantic sprees and unsafe sex. Mania, left untreated, may worsen to a psychotic state.
In short, the causes of depression could either be genetic or a combination of genetic, cognitive, and environmental factors is involved in the onset of a depressive disorder. Trauma, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, a financial problem, or any stressful change in life patterns, whether the change is unwelcome or desired, can trigger a depressive episode in vulnerable individuals. Later episodes of depression may occur without an obvious cause.
Symptoms of Depression and Mania:
Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few; some people suffer many. The severity of symptoms varies among individuals and also over time.
Depression:
No, I am not depressed or hope not looking at things now... the reason why is cos mainly it occured to me & tot I could share some things about depression since I was toking abt it to someone yday.
personally if u ask me, it's freaky... i've seen it & been der to understand how a person behaves... they try slashing their wrist, try to commit suicide, scream & cry all the time, talk in their slp & cry, faint & never eat at all... the list goes on... it will not oni affect the individual but their loved ones too... most of these affected ppl wld think that no one cares for dem but they dnt realise how much they mean to others...
here are some things i've studied on depression & wish to share wit all of u. I hope u will get a general idea & understand about it...:
What is Depression?
Depression is a serious medical illness; it’s not something that you have made up in your head. It’s more than just feeling "down in the dumps" or "blue" for a few days. It’s feeling "down" and "low" and "hopeless" for weeks at a time.
Just like other illnesses, such as heart disease, depression comes in different forms:
Major depression (or major depressive disorder) is manifested by a combination of symptoms that interferes with the ability to work, study, sleep, eat, and enjoy once pleasurable activities. A major depressive episode may occur only once; but more commonly, several episodes may occur in a lifetime. Chronic major depression may require a person to continue treatment indefinitely.
A less severe type of depression, dysthymia(or dysthymic disorder), involves long lasting, chronic symptoms that do not seriously disable, but keep one from functioning well or feeling good. Many people with dysthymia also experience major depressive episodes at some time in their lives.
Another type of depressive illness is bipolar disorder(or manic depressive illness). Bipolar disorder is characterized by cycling mood changes: severe highs (mania) and lows (depression), often with periods of normal mood in between. Sometimes the mood switches are dramatic and rapid, but usually they are gradual. When in the depressed cycle, an individual can have any or all of the symptoms of depression. When in the manic cycle, the individual may be overactive, over talkative, and have a great deal of energy. Mania often affects thinking, judgment, and social behavior in ways that cause serious problems and embarrassment. For example, the individual in a manic phase may feel elated, full of grand schemes that might range from unwise business decisions to romantic sprees and unsafe sex. Mania, left untreated, may worsen to a psychotic state.
In short, the causes of depression could either be genetic or a combination of genetic, cognitive, and environmental factors is involved in the onset of a depressive disorder. Trauma, loss of a loved one, a difficult relationship, a financial problem, or any stressful change in life patterns, whether the change is unwelcome or desired, can trigger a depressive episode in vulnerable individuals. Later episodes of depression may occur without an obvious cause.
Symptoms of Depression and Mania:
Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few; some people suffer many. The severity of symptoms varies among individuals and also over time.
Depression:
- Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood.
- Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism.
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness.
- Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyable, including sex.
- Decreased energy, fatigue; feeling “slowed down.”
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.
- Trouble sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping.
- Changes in appetite and/or weight.
- Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts.
- Restlessness or irritability.
- Persistent physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain that do not respond to routine treatment.
***For more details on depression, visit:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/men-and-depression/summary.shtml
I extracted these details from this webbie... check it out to learn more... it gives very precise details... I really hope u will understand wat is it about & if u're feeling down, tok to someone, cry it out or write it in ur dairy... prevention is better den cure...DON'T inflict pain onto urself unnecessarily... this is not the end of the world... get up, cheer urself up! =) call me anytime & i will try to make u laugh! heheheh!
loves...
17 June, 2008
i try to console myself by saying that it's for the best... smetimes it's so pressurising I wish I could quit my job cos i'm nt getting the respect that i need... i've stooped so low to serve insensitive people & getting a meager pay for it...
i'm not trying to be arrogant or boastful here but thinking of where I was & what i'm doing now is completely unbelievable...
the only thing that is pulling me on is the belief that it's for the best of future... i'll go thru all the shit now & get a respectable paying job in the future... let's see who is the winner!
Psst: i've got a deadly desire to become a MP one day... (a cashier?!) muhahahaha!
i'm not trying to be arrogant or boastful here but thinking of where I was & what i'm doing now is completely unbelievable...
the only thing that is pulling me on is the belief that it's for the best of future... i'll go thru all the shit now & get a respectable paying job in the future... let's see who is the winner!
Psst: i've got a deadly desire to become a MP one day... (a cashier?!) muhahahaha!
16 June, 2008
too many issues to handle... monetary issues mainly... it's so hard to maintain monthly... unable to shop freely & save easily... now I have to calculate every single cent & monitor every expenses i make...
On top of all these, I had shortage of $50 in my register... despite the fact that I count the money umpteenth times... seriously, I couldnt concentrate after tat cos I started to make rapid checklist in my mind on the expenses tat need to be made... top up cash card, phone bills, driving test, etc etc etc... i kept drawing up the list in my mind... it sucks... so pressurising...
finally, it occured to me... since i've got two mobile phones & lines, I gave one up to my dad... a number i kept for almost a decade, gone. I sold my SE W960i at $390 which I bought at $900 in Feb & finally, I sold my PSP slim at $140. With tat money, I settled my phone bill & the rest I deposit it, top up my cash card & keeping it till end of the month...
Man! i'm living off worst den a poor man! sometimes I wonder why did I have to quit my job in Shell & go back to sch? my savings depleted & soon I was left with nthin aft paying my sch fees...
Now, my other worry is the study loan... which needs to be settled by next week...
i brought tis upon myself but I still ask, why me?
***me not here to gain sympathy but to share my journey of joys & sorrows...***
On top of all these, I had shortage of $50 in my register... despite the fact that I count the money umpteenth times... seriously, I couldnt concentrate after tat cos I started to make rapid checklist in my mind on the expenses tat need to be made... top up cash card, phone bills, driving test, etc etc etc... i kept drawing up the list in my mind... it sucks... so pressurising...
finally, it occured to me... since i've got two mobile phones & lines, I gave one up to my dad... a number i kept for almost a decade, gone. I sold my SE W960i at $390 which I bought at $900 in Feb & finally, I sold my PSP slim at $140. With tat money, I settled my phone bill & the rest I deposit it, top up my cash card & keeping it till end of the month...
Man! i'm living off worst den a poor man! sometimes I wonder why did I have to quit my job in Shell & go back to sch? my savings depleted & soon I was left with nthin aft paying my sch fees...
Now, my other worry is the study loan... which needs to be settled by next week...
i brought tis upon myself but I still ask, why me?
***me not here to gain sympathy but to share my journey of joys & sorrows...***
15 June, 2008
beauty & the words
wat is the pt wen u've got so much of beauty wen the words coming out from ur mouth are strings of vulgarities? no morals? no discipline? behave like a kid?
Grow up woman...
Grow up woman...
14 June, 2008
Strike it while the iron is hot...
I keep procrastinating when it comes to certain issues in my life... My mom always tells me, be a smart girl... Don't wait. Strike it while the iron is hot so that it's easier to mold rather than when its cold. Yes, that's true... but some times it can't be applied for all situations.
I wish I hadn't delayed in certain things cos I tend to regret and have... Sometimes it's my ego & lack of guts that pull me back from so many things which I would have been able to attain...
but no, i let it slip thru my fingers and see it go hoping that someday it will return back despite the fact that I know it will never...
I admire how some ppl would go so far to let that person know how much he/she likes him yet it's so hard for me.
I've always wish I hadn't let my heart wander aimlessly and leave me helpless... I should have simply concentrate entirely on my work & studies... But what is life without love? Money doesn't bring u all the joy that u need... love gives eternal peace & bliss...
I suppose I'll be blogging like this till I age & wrinkle...
I wish I hadn't delayed in certain things cos I tend to regret and have... Sometimes it's my ego & lack of guts that pull me back from so many things which I would have been able to attain...
but no, i let it slip thru my fingers and see it go hoping that someday it will return back despite the fact that I know it will never...
I admire how some ppl would go so far to let that person know how much he/she likes him yet it's so hard for me.
I've always wish I hadn't let my heart wander aimlessly and leave me helpless... I should have simply concentrate entirely on my work & studies... But what is life without love? Money doesn't bring u all the joy that u need... love gives eternal peace & bliss...
I suppose I'll be blogging like this till I age & wrinkle...
11 June, 2008
environmental concerns
I have never bothered abt the environmental issues until recently... u see ads telling us to save electricity, cut down on paper, use less water, use biodegradable items etc etc etc... I never really bothered much abt it cos I tot I wont make much difference to all these... I continued being irresponsible by nt switching off the lights wen i shld, let the water run while soaping or shampooing, request for plastic bags for every single purchase and the list goes on...
These days, I am getting really irritated wen customers request for plastic bag for NEWSPAPER and MAGAZINES!!! isn't it too much???!!! All those ads and awareness on environmental issues is a complete waste for Singaporeans! Seriously... I feel like educating these people on some of the issues we're facing here on tis earth & how some of us are trying our best to save it and here u are asking for a bag for Newspaper... and der are some who buy sweets, drinks or panadol requesting for plastic bag and they're carrying a bag big enuff to place dem in...
Do u know that NTUC charge u $0.10 for every plastic used on Wed? Maybe 7-11 should do the same too... there are some shops where they display "NO PLASTIC BAGS FOR NEWSPAPERS AND MAGAZINES". Honestly, I feel so tempted to draw up a sign like tat and place it at the news stand. U can't say no to dem cos they are paying customers and have every rights. Like for NTUC, it's run by the government so they promote environmental concerns.
I'm not trying to say I am great or anything but i'm trying as much as possible to save our
Mother Earth who is bearing all our nonsense. The least I could do is switching off the lights wen i'm not using it even tho I am returning back in a min or so... I use air-con for oni 5 hours instead of 8 hours, watch tv only if I like the program, bring my own cotton bag I got from Times bookshop & use it for buying groceries & now, I've switched to paperless billing... Singtel is encouraging us to switch to paperless billing... and it's so convenient! u view ur bill online & make payments online or drop by SAM or AXS machine to make ur payment!
These days, I am getting really irritated wen customers request for plastic bag for NEWSPAPER and MAGAZINES!!! isn't it too much???!!! All those ads and awareness on environmental issues is a complete waste for Singaporeans! Seriously... I feel like educating these people on some of the issues we're facing here on tis earth & how some of us are trying our best to save it and here u are asking for a bag for Newspaper... and der are some who buy sweets, drinks or panadol requesting for plastic bag and they're carrying a bag big enuff to place dem in...
Do u know that NTUC charge u $0.10 for every plastic used on Wed? Maybe 7-11 should do the same too... there are some shops where they display "NO PLASTIC BAGS FOR NEWSPAPERS AND MAGAZINES". Honestly, I feel so tempted to draw up a sign like tat and place it at the news stand. U can't say no to dem cos they are paying customers and have every rights. Like for NTUC, it's run by the government so they promote environmental concerns.
I'm not trying to say I am great or anything but i'm trying as much as possible to save our
Mother Earth who is bearing all our nonsense. The least I could do is switching off the lights wen i'm not using it even tho I am returning back in a min or so... I use air-con for oni 5 hours instead of 8 hours, watch tv only if I like the program, bring my own cotton bag I got from Times bookshop & use it for buying groceries & now, I've switched to paperless billing... Singtel is encouraging us to switch to paperless billing... and it's so convenient! u view ur bill online & make payments online or drop by SAM or AXS machine to make ur payment!
10 June, 2008
...I came across this e-mail...
...and can't help but to post it here cos this is exactly what I am going thru... i'm in denial... using more of my mind den my heart...
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?,
orSaying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...
for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.
* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?*
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *
What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?*
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?,
orSaying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...
for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.
* What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?*
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
*What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *
What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?*
Greetings to all...
to all my fellow bloggers, visitors and whoever... If u wish to view some of my previous pic taken specifically on the April, pls click on the achives to ur right.
Thank u!
Shameni
Thank u!
Shameni
07 June, 2008
what a night...
hehehe! ok... it's nt a laughing matter but somehow i feel tat guy deserves it...
oh well, it's all over... =)
Now we're happy! Weeeee!
oh well, it's all over... =)
Now we're happy! Weeeee!
06 June, 2008
my life has become so much like a routine... same thing every day... same problem everyday....
Every night the only worry I have in my mind is : MONEY.
I have to get loan for my school by end tis month or I may not be able to continue my studies and I have no more money to last till end tis month (it's only 6th today). Phone bills not paid and I've got a reminder letter. It's been 3 yrs I've last asked my parents for money and planning not to do so... I have to make do wit watever I have... Which is, work.
I work so I won't feel the hunger, the pain in my heart, mind, pocket and my body. I just spent $30 on my medical... I had freaking high fever and tot i was going to die tat night... and wat more... Skipping my physiotheraphy and check up wit my specialist cos I have no more money. I've stopped meeting my frens no where outside bt batok cos I cant afford to spend a cent more if possible. I haven't booked my TP cos der's insufficient funds.
Thank God I came across my $40 NTUC vouchers in my drawers which can last till Sept 08. It can help me for awhile... But den, wen I saw my colleague struggling to raise 5 kids on her own, I gave her $20 voucher to help her ease some pain. and now i'm left with $20 which i'm yet to use.
Every waking moment I can only think of money, school fees, bills & loan. No peace of mind... sometimes i wish i cld stay in hospital for a week just to get away from all these shit issues off my mind for awhile and lay der and get my food served.
Seriously, monetary issues are the worst thing to face in life... I wish I didn't quit my job in Shell... i'm feeling really helpless and clueless...
I'm not posting this to gain sympathy or to show that I am leading a hard life PLEASE pity me... Fuck off... this is my blog and choose to type whatever I want... call me arrogant, egoistic & attn seeking bitch... I dont give a fuck... Cos I don't owe anyone anything in my life besides my parents... oh well, my tag board will not be placed back anymore... **getting vulgar these days... who to pls these days? none... I live for myself***
Every night the only worry I have in my mind is : MONEY.
I have to get loan for my school by end tis month or I may not be able to continue my studies and I have no more money to last till end tis month (it's only 6th today). Phone bills not paid and I've got a reminder letter. It's been 3 yrs I've last asked my parents for money and planning not to do so... I have to make do wit watever I have... Which is, work.
I work so I won't feel the hunger, the pain in my heart, mind, pocket and my body. I just spent $30 on my medical... I had freaking high fever and tot i was going to die tat night... and wat more... Skipping my physiotheraphy and check up wit my specialist cos I have no more money. I've stopped meeting my frens no where outside bt batok cos I cant afford to spend a cent more if possible. I haven't booked my TP cos der's insufficient funds.
Thank God I came across my $40 NTUC vouchers in my drawers which can last till Sept 08. It can help me for awhile... But den, wen I saw my colleague struggling to raise 5 kids on her own, I gave her $20 voucher to help her ease some pain. and now i'm left with $20 which i'm yet to use.
Every waking moment I can only think of money, school fees, bills & loan. No peace of mind... sometimes i wish i cld stay in hospital for a week just to get away from all these shit issues off my mind for awhile and lay der and get my food served.
Seriously, monetary issues are the worst thing to face in life... I wish I didn't quit my job in Shell... i'm feeling really helpless and clueless...
I'm not posting this to gain sympathy or to show that I am leading a hard life PLEASE pity me... Fuck off... this is my blog and choose to type whatever I want... call me arrogant, egoistic & attn seeking bitch... I dont give a fuck... Cos I don't owe anyone anything in my life besides my parents... oh well, my tag board will not be placed back anymore... **getting vulgar these days... who to pls these days? none... I live for myself***
04 June, 2008
Mounam Pesiyathe...
Arai En 305il Kadhavul
Santosh Subramaniam
All these movies are pretty good... not many would like Santosh Subramaniam... Like I mentioned before, I could somehow relate to the story and I LOVE the girl's character... She's a loosu (crazy) and the guy accepts her for the way she is... =)
So I went to see a doc on Monday cos I couldn't move my body anymore... I was having splitting headache and I had runny nose I finished a box of tissues.
I took a long shower and went down to the clinic... I wasn't walking steadily and my eyes were 1/2 opened... I won't be surprised if people thought I was drunk... I was dizzy...
and so i've got two days MC... and wat do I do? I stay home and do all the things I haven't done in a long time...
I watched few more tamil movies... Kuruvi (stupid movie wit the worst effect), Kadhavul (it was good and the effect was gr8) and an old move Mounam Pasiyathe (Suriya and Thrisha).
Forget about the movie Kuruvi, Kadhavul is a good movie where it teaches u about real life issues... How to deal with it etc...
Mounam Pasiyathe, rather old movie, had a pretty good story line... Suriya was against love but there will be some girl who would be after him but he had no clue who... the anonymous calls & letters etc.. One day he went to tok to Thrisha and developed love for her cos she said she would like to fall in love wit someone like him... Suriya started falling in love wit her and saw the world in a new prospective...
One day Thrisha called him to meet up wit her... Suriya who is in love wit her went down but there he came to know the truth... she fell in love not him but another guy who is also like him... Suriya was devastated... He tot she was in love wit him he felt so cheated...
One day while he was walking down the road thinking about his life, a girl appeared and he remembered her as the gal who was after him while he was in sch for 2 years but he kept brushing her off... he told her then that she would forget him aft college so why waste his and her time... but she told him tat she will wait for him no matter how long it takes... .
And there she was, and Suriya realised how much tis gal loves him and accepted her... anonymous calls & letters etc..
Last night i was smsing my fren to ask him if we should move on or to let a person know we still have feelings for him/her after a year... after some time, I realised that it's best to let the person know so that u are able to move on... it lifts off the burden in u and let's u move on... if the person have same feelings for u but u know it won't work out cos of the differences... move on...
I took a long shower and went down to the clinic... I wasn't walking steadily and my eyes were 1/2 opened... I won't be surprised if people thought I was drunk... I was dizzy...
and so i've got two days MC... and wat do I do? I stay home and do all the things I haven't done in a long time...
I watched few more tamil movies... Kuruvi (stupid movie wit the worst effect), Kadhavul (it was good and the effect was gr8) and an old move Mounam Pasiyathe (Suriya and Thrisha).
Forget about the movie Kuruvi, Kadhavul is a good movie where it teaches u about real life issues... How to deal with it etc...
Mounam Pasiyathe, rather old movie, had a pretty good story line... Suriya was against love but there will be some girl who would be after him but he had no clue who... the anonymous calls & letters etc.. One day he went to tok to Thrisha and developed love for her cos she said she would like to fall in love wit someone like him... Suriya started falling in love wit her and saw the world in a new prospective...
One day Thrisha called him to meet up wit her... Suriya who is in love wit her went down but there he came to know the truth... she fell in love not him but another guy who is also like him... Suriya was devastated... He tot she was in love wit him he felt so cheated...
One day while he was walking down the road thinking about his life, a girl appeared and he remembered her as the gal who was after him while he was in sch for 2 years but he kept brushing her off... he told her then that she would forget him aft college so why waste his and her time... but she told him tat she will wait for him no matter how long it takes... .
And there she was, and Suriya realised how much tis gal loves him and accepted her... anonymous calls & letters etc..
Last night i was smsing my fren to ask him if we should move on or to let a person know we still have feelings for him/her after a year... after some time, I realised that it's best to let the person know so that u are able to move on... it lifts off the burden in u and let's u move on... if the person have same feelings for u but u know it won't work out cos of the differences... move on...
02 June, 2008
01 June, 2008
Santosh Subramaniam
a tamil movie I watched after my work today... Was having fever and bad headache so I tot of staying home after work to get sme gd rest.
Santosh Subramaniam - A very cute romantic comedy... but for some reason, I could relate to it.
I really like the girl's character so much cos she's a loosu... and the guy, from a strict family... he meets this gal randomly and fell in love wit her cos she's so natural but playful. She does what she wants and have many friends. Something about he said that having too many frens ppl cld take advantage of u cos one of her guy fren tried to take adv of her...anyway, Santosh (the hero) became good friends wit her... she meets up with him randomly and they went places together. Of cos, friendship led to love... but the twist to tis story is guy is already engaged & his dad will nt accept it.
Cutting the story short, his dad came to know etc, he called her over for 7 days to their hse to see if she's the right gal etc... she being extremely talkative (she can nvr stop talking and always gt scolding frm tat guy), the guy's dad didnt like her...
Of cos, every story there's a climax... the gal left the hse cos she felt the guy wasn't the same anymore etc... how father & son bond and came to a mutual understanding etc etc etc and they gt together again...
I don't know why but I really love tis movie so much... the gal's character, in sme way, captured my heart... loved it... the way she behaves and talk...
Anyway, last week I went out with Uncle Sermon and Selvam and met few of their frens over drinks and games (all married except me and Selvam der and they're all above 40... LOL!).
But having conversation wit dem made me realise a lot of things abt life. Lately I've been mentioning a lot abt sme guy I like... I was contemplating to tell him... I dnt knw why bt it was so random... Uncle Sermon was telling me not to fall for guys... instead, let guys fall for u... now the guys u like may not b a good one... but the moment u start being someone in life, guys will come to u naturally... U dnt need to try hard.
Uncle Guna, also very randomly, told me that the best is to be wit someone who loves u and respect for who u are... someone who can accept me wholeheartedly... haha! he predict that i will get a guy who is much older (not one or two yrs) and within 10 yrs, i wld be married (duh! or i wld b 32)... he told me nt to flirt but to concentrate on wat needs to be done instead of wasting my time on guys.. tat made a lot of sense... I dnt think i wanna go on a date anymore... instead I will build better relationship wit my existing friends, work as much as I can to get some cash and do well in my studies...
And that guy I like, prolly an infatuation... I realised I can stop my feelings wen I try to concentrate on other stuffs... currently on my work... ask me to work, I'll do a gd job for u... I can stop my feelings wen i'm out wit my frens (like last week)... and plus he's wit another gal so all the more it's better for me to forget and move on... Wish I could meet up wit him though...
so, enjoy being single... fly like a bird and achieve my dreams... to become a MP... =)
Santosh Subramaniam - A very cute romantic comedy... but for some reason, I could relate to it.
I really like the girl's character so much cos she's a loosu... and the guy, from a strict family... he meets this gal randomly and fell in love wit her cos she's so natural but playful. She does what she wants and have many friends. Something about he said that having too many frens ppl cld take advantage of u cos one of her guy fren tried to take adv of her...anyway, Santosh (the hero) became good friends wit her... she meets up with him randomly and they went places together. Of cos, friendship led to love... but the twist to tis story is guy is already engaged & his dad will nt accept it.
Cutting the story short, his dad came to know etc, he called her over for 7 days to their hse to see if she's the right gal etc... she being extremely talkative (she can nvr stop talking and always gt scolding frm tat guy), the guy's dad didnt like her...
Of cos, every story there's a climax... the gal left the hse cos she felt the guy wasn't the same anymore etc... how father & son bond and came to a mutual understanding etc etc etc and they gt together again...
I don't know why but I really love tis movie so much... the gal's character, in sme way, captured my heart... loved it... the way she behaves and talk...
Anyway, last week I went out with Uncle Sermon and Selvam and met few of their frens over drinks and games (all married except me and Selvam der and they're all above 40... LOL!).
But having conversation wit dem made me realise a lot of things abt life. Lately I've been mentioning a lot abt sme guy I like... I was contemplating to tell him... I dnt knw why bt it was so random... Uncle Sermon was telling me not to fall for guys... instead, let guys fall for u... now the guys u like may not b a good one... but the moment u start being someone in life, guys will come to u naturally... U dnt need to try hard.
Uncle Guna, also very randomly, told me that the best is to be wit someone who loves u and respect for who u are... someone who can accept me wholeheartedly... haha! he predict that i will get a guy who is much older (not one or two yrs) and within 10 yrs, i wld be married (duh! or i wld b 32)... he told me nt to flirt but to concentrate on wat needs to be done instead of wasting my time on guys.. tat made a lot of sense... I dnt think i wanna go on a date anymore... instead I will build better relationship wit my existing friends, work as much as I can to get some cash and do well in my studies...
And that guy I like, prolly an infatuation... I realised I can stop my feelings wen I try to concentrate on other stuffs... currently on my work... ask me to work, I'll do a gd job for u... I can stop my feelings wen i'm out wit my frens (like last week)... and plus he's wit another gal so all the more it's better for me to forget and move on... Wish I could meet up wit him though...
so, enjoy being single... fly like a bird and achieve my dreams... to become a MP... =)
30 May, 2008
the reasons why i am stupid
yes, i realised i am stupid (it took me tis long to realise while my parents knew it long time):
- I never confess my love for any guy in my life. Even if i did, it must have been the most pathetic thing ever cos i'll never have the guts. The most I'll do is tell my friends. The entire world will know I like him, BUT him (i know)
- I always end up with so much of regrets ESPECIALLY aft knowing he had same feelings. only thing is, he is already attached and it was a 3-yrs-ago crush (bleah).
- I end up with guys who are perverts. (sucks...totally)
- I never treasured guys who took good care of me and end up hurting them because I thought they weren't sincere. (u can't blame me! i tot they reali were!)
- I give in too much to someone I love, they take advantage of me. (I wouldn't mind travelling miles just to see him for 5 mins)
- I never exactly had a "real" relationship b4 which makes me feel more hopeless.
- I check out all the guys in the world, but I can hardly grow feelings for any of them. It's nt easy. (i muz b abnormal)
- I am searching for true love though I know it doesn't exist anymore in tis universe
- I find all guys fake
- I am too cautious
- I have no guts
i might juz die single
if gals could grow beard, i would have grown one by now... i might also start drinking alcohol excessively... maybe become a smoke machine too...
i've got tis bad feeling that the guy will nt have any idea and i'll just see him go wit another woman and i'll date many men and kill my years like this.
pathetic
yes, pls call me dumb & a coward...
.
.
.
.
yes me... hello! yes... this gal here is a coward...
Shameni is such a coward...
she got no guts...nthing... she's a complete zero
all she knows is how to work and how to study
.
.
.
but dnt knw anything else...
stupid gal
i've got tis bad feeling that the guy will nt have any idea and i'll just see him go wit another woman and i'll date many men and kill my years like this.
pathetic
yes, pls call me dumb & a coward...
.
.
.
.
yes me... hello! yes... this gal here is a coward...
Shameni is such a coward...
she got no guts...nthing... she's a complete zero
all she knows is how to work and how to study
.
.
.
but dnt knw anything else...
stupid gal
29 May, 2008
in life, u need to fight
I've argued wit my manager so many times... for deducting my pay all the time... now i've argued again to give me a pay rise... but he's not helping me... he keeps coming up wit all sorts of excuses and his own terms and conditions which is driving me crazy... instead, he told me if i wan more pay, I've to work extra hours... frm an 8 hour shift, it has become a 12 hr shift...
well, it may sound easy... cashier... but u dont get break AT ALL... u dont get to sit AT ALL... and u have to constantly greet customers and attend to every single details. You have to check for expiry dates, you have to do ticketing (changing price tags), u have to process bill payments and topping up services like cash cards & ez-link ( i get like 40 bills on av per shift and it reali annoys me so much), u need to face all the most unreasonable customers and mind u, it's only a convenience store... nt a 5 star hotel where u pay service charge, lost of cigarettes and service items u're accountable for it. short of money u're accountable for it.
and all this i'm getting only $3.50/HR. Seriously, i m getting omost nthin at the end of the mth... phone bill accumulating and i've gt other expenses as well... i'm doing as much as the full time staff yet wen i asked for an increment, he brushes it off...
therefore, i am going to the higher authority to do smething abt it... it's certainly nt fair... i muz fight for it or i'll juz leave...
i realised, in life, we need to fight for wat we want... ask and u shall b given... if u're gonna keep quiet, everyone gonna eat u...
but there's only one issue in my life that i can't ask... and dare not ask....
i wonder if he even have thoughts about me or am i juz another girl in his eyes...
two issues i need to tackle...
well, it may sound easy... cashier... but u dont get break AT ALL... u dont get to sit AT ALL... and u have to constantly greet customers and attend to every single details. You have to check for expiry dates, you have to do ticketing (changing price tags), u have to process bill payments and topping up services like cash cards & ez-link ( i get like 40 bills on av per shift and it reali annoys me so much), u need to face all the most unreasonable customers and mind u, it's only a convenience store... nt a 5 star hotel where u pay service charge, lost of cigarettes and service items u're accountable for it. short of money u're accountable for it.
and all this i'm getting only $3.50/HR. Seriously, i m getting omost nthin at the end of the mth... phone bill accumulating and i've gt other expenses as well... i'm doing as much as the full time staff yet wen i asked for an increment, he brushes it off...
therefore, i am going to the higher authority to do smething abt it... it's certainly nt fair... i muz fight for it or i'll juz leave...
i realised, in life, we need to fight for wat we want... ask and u shall b given... if u're gonna keep quiet, everyone gonna eat u...
but there's only one issue in my life that i can't ask... and dare not ask....
i wonder if he even have thoughts about me or am i juz another girl in his eyes...
two issues i need to tackle...
27 May, 2008
condoms
I never grew tired toking abt it or my classmates listening to it over and over again...
condoms
yes, the art of buying a condom.
u rush in, grab ur choice, place it at the counter and look elsewhere pretending to be interested wat's going on outside the store. u stuff it into ur pocket and out u go like a rocket.
or
u place a box on the counter, grap wateva sweet within ur reach and make urself look like u were der not for the condom alone.
or
u buy as many stuffs as possible.. so many tat wen u place it on the counter u throw all ur stuffs on top of the condom so no one can see it...
or
u stand der as long as possible figuring which wld b a better choice cos there's juz that MANY! seriously...
the most popular choice is featherlite, Durex... it sells off fast. the old man will usually choose the cheapest one der... the ladies gts attracted to all the pink boxes available... the other choice is usualy "performance".
it's really interesting to watch the behaviours of my customers. it's like watching a movie... =P
condoms
yes, the art of buying a condom.
u rush in, grab ur choice, place it at the counter and look elsewhere pretending to be interested wat's going on outside the store. u stuff it into ur pocket and out u go like a rocket.
or
u place a box on the counter, grap wateva sweet within ur reach and make urself look like u were der not for the condom alone.
or
u buy as many stuffs as possible.. so many tat wen u place it on the counter u throw all ur stuffs on top of the condom so no one can see it...
or
u stand der as long as possible figuring which wld b a better choice cos there's juz that MANY! seriously...
the most popular choice is featherlite, Durex... it sells off fast. the old man will usually choose the cheapest one der... the ladies gts attracted to all the pink boxes available... the other choice is usualy "performance".
it's really interesting to watch the behaviours of my customers. it's like watching a movie... =P
26 May, 2008
have u ever been stuck between two people and feel obligated to both?
i have
today... oh man! it's tough...
B needs help and is calling u over but A is stopping u... B really needs your help because he's in a tough situation but A tell u not to. You cant choose wat to do cos either gts upset.
B smses saying he's very upset. me feels sad. A is stubborn. B says he dnt wanna do anything wit us. me is more sad. A is still stubborn.
tis is so ridiculous. fight among colleagues. madness.
i have
today... oh man! it's tough...
B needs help and is calling u over but A is stopping u... B really needs your help because he's in a tough situation but A tell u not to. You cant choose wat to do cos either gts upset.
B smses saying he's very upset. me feels sad. A is stubborn. B says he dnt wanna do anything wit us. me is more sad. A is still stubborn.
tis is so ridiculous. fight among colleagues. madness.
25 May, 2008
tomygraves
icouldbeopenwithmyfeelings
mythoughts
butidonthaveanyguts
tosayit
itrytomoveon
bygoingondates
butitsnothelpingme
causemymindiselsewhere
thinkingaboutit
imbetrayingmyfriendship
bykeepingmumaboutit
thinkingimsavingittosavemyegoand
pride
thoughiknowmenotgonnagainoutofit
butseehimgowithanotherwoman
ofhischoice
livingwithregrets
historyisrepeatingitself
andichoosetoremainlikethis
cause
theresnoreasontomybehaviour
insteadtokeepitwithme
andbringittomygraves
mythoughts
butidonthaveanyguts
tosayit
itrytomoveon
bygoingondates
butitsnothelpingme
causemymindiselsewhere
thinkingaboutit
imbetrayingmyfriendship
bykeepingmumaboutit
thinkingimsavingittosavemyegoand
pride
thoughiknowmenotgonnagainoutofit
butseehimgowithanotherwoman
ofhischoice
livingwithregrets
historyisrepeatingitself
andichoosetoremainlikethis
cause
theresnoreasontomybehaviour
insteadtokeepitwithme
andbringittomygraves
22 May, 2008
if.u.r.single.
FLIRT!!! U see, no point u finding for love wen the person doesnt give u a thought... so might as well enjoy every single moment being single, check out ALL the guys who walk pass u and checks u out too... it's so fun and it's so refreshing! LOL! and the best part of it all is... they pass u their numbers!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
But deep down, i wish he have thoughts about me...cos heart is one, mind is another... we're human afterall...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
But deep down, i wish he have thoughts about me...cos heart is one, mind is another... we're human afterall...
20 May, 2008
it's too late to apologies...
it's too late...wat's done cannot be undone... it will become my foolishness if i accept the apology and pretend tat nthin happened...no point dwelling on the past and correcting it wen u're gonna live wit doubts...
enough...
enough...
16 May, 2008
i'm scared...
i'm scared... shit scared... i dnt know wat is happening to my fren... he gt hospitalised again..and he's vomiting blood all d time...i dnt know wat to do...i've gt tis bad feeling...
i'm lost...i dnt know wat to do...! i can't lose a fren...
i'm lost...i dnt know wat to do...! i can't lose a fren...
15 May, 2008
i'm so tired
seriously very tired... my body is so weak I feel so giddy each time I move...
i hope it's nt happening again...
i'm gonna fall sick i think...
i hope it's nt happening again...
i'm gonna fall sick i think...
13 May, 2008
makes me wonder...
Sometimes in life, u wonder about a lot of things... why it has to happen in such way... why u have to meet such person... why did it happen to u and not someone else... or why did it happen to ur fren.. etc... the list goes on... out mind is always wondering... simple things like, why isnt the bus here yet... why am i here instead of some where else... why hasnt my fren replied my sms or return call... is he/she ok... did anything happen etc... Phew! the tot of it makes me wonder now why am i typing this out...
I was having a long conversation wit my very good fren on the phone and made me wonder a lot of things... how much a guy can love a gal so much... the pain he had to go thru is immense... "accidently" falling from 11 storey, waiting for hours wit flowers and gift bt she ddnt turn up cos she was clubbing wit some other guys... so many stuff... too many to name here... yet he still loves her... yearning for her love... for her warmth... yet she doesn't seem to care...
He asked me, "Shameni, is it possible to fall in love wit another gal if I were to leave tis gal".
Interesting qn and i was surprised to wat i've answered to tat.
"Nand, it is possible to fall in love wit another gal because watever quality u're looking for in tis gal, another gal may have it and she will love u more den u would love her. Go for someone who loves u more den u love her cos tat's wen u will start appreciating it and fall deeply in love wit tis whole... although it's not easy to forgot ur current love, it is possible to move on but it's only the matter of time."
He tot i made some sense... but he finds it too difficult to move on simply... of cos he cant... no one can... memories will haunt u... but den again, it makes u a better person... a stronger person that u will know wat to look out for... not repeat the same mistakes... not to b dumb again and to love her again... each moment of his life... making both happy...
After having a conversation wit my fren, I realised how lucky I am to be single and free... i dnt have to go thru any pain... I can concentrate on my stuff and be who I am... enjoy the company of my frens and be a free bird... i am nt tied down as yet and be whoever I wanna be...
But den again, if i ever get lucky (which I never am) meet some nice guy and hopefully for a life long r/s and no more dates...
I was having a long conversation wit my very good fren on the phone and made me wonder a lot of things... how much a guy can love a gal so much... the pain he had to go thru is immense... "accidently" falling from 11 storey, waiting for hours wit flowers and gift bt she ddnt turn up cos she was clubbing wit some other guys... so many stuff... too many to name here... yet he still loves her... yearning for her love... for her warmth... yet she doesn't seem to care...
He asked me, "Shameni, is it possible to fall in love wit another gal if I were to leave tis gal".
Interesting qn and i was surprised to wat i've answered to tat.
"Nand, it is possible to fall in love wit another gal because watever quality u're looking for in tis gal, another gal may have it and she will love u more den u would love her. Go for someone who loves u more den u love her cos tat's wen u will start appreciating it and fall deeply in love wit tis whole... although it's not easy to forgot ur current love, it is possible to move on but it's only the matter of time."
He tot i made some sense... but he finds it too difficult to move on simply... of cos he cant... no one can... memories will haunt u... but den again, it makes u a better person... a stronger person that u will know wat to look out for... not repeat the same mistakes... not to b dumb again and to love her again... each moment of his life... making both happy...
After having a conversation wit my fren, I realised how lucky I am to be single and free... i dnt have to go thru any pain... I can concentrate on my stuff and be who I am... enjoy the company of my frens and be a free bird... i am nt tied down as yet and be whoever I wanna be...
But den again, if i ever get lucky (which I never am) meet some nice guy and hopefully for a life long r/s and no more dates...
07 May, 2008
Upper Seletar Reservoir
Upper Seletar Reservoir is the most beautiful place i've ever seen... very green, peaceful and romantic... nice place to relax... here are the pic i took while I was there...
And odd looking tree... Botak... LOL!
And odd looking tree... Botak... LOL!
let bygones be bygones...
Sometimes as much as u try to forget the past
it keeps coming back to haunt u
to remind you the times u miss
and wanting that moment back so desperately
and all u get is a sense of loneliness
no matter how much u try brushing it off
from ur mind
it stubbornly stays there
making u feel so miserable
full of regrets
wishing u could turn back time
to rectify those moments
to retrieve the friendship
i have lost...
Let bygones be bygones and live in those memoriesto bring a smile upon my face
the moment we've shared....
Miss you
06 May, 2008
Labour Day
That song on my media is a song I rarely get to hear... Beautiful song... and I heard this in Sugmad's blog so i've decided to have it in my blog too... really beautiful...
====================================================================
Last Wed was a fun day... Was mugging the whole day.... but tat evening, we went to West Coast for pinic with my neighbours... It was reali fun... had loads of FOOD! Yum! ate till we nearly burst... loads of junk food and not forgetting, loads of laughter! we couldnt stop laughing and the dare we have to do was hillarious... Poor Suzanna... hahahah! but she was so sporting... it was a simple yet a fun night out...
Errr... oh well....
Kelvin... my neighbour who looks older den me cos of his hght! someone getting enlisted soon!
Kelvin's cousin.... same pose as her other cousin below... Melissa... LOL!
Melissa looks alot like Suzanna...
we trying to take tis pic for so long.... to get all of us in the pic at a different distance...
Here w/o Kelvin... and my sis (who hpn to be sleeping... as usual)...
My bro was out of the snap...
Me and Edwin were out... LOL!
ahhhHhhh... crazzy me again...
Edwin was so determined to build tis despite it falling alot of time...
all the lazy people... like my mom... hahhaa!
====================================================================
Last Wed was a fun day... Was mugging the whole day.... but tat evening, we went to West Coast for pinic with my neighbours... It was reali fun... had loads of FOOD! Yum! ate till we nearly burst... loads of junk food and not forgetting, loads of laughter! we couldnt stop laughing and the dare we have to do was hillarious... Poor Suzanna... hahahah! but she was so sporting... it was a simple yet a fun night out...
Errr... oh well....
Kelvin... my neighbour who looks older den me cos of his hght! someone getting enlisted soon!
Kelvin's cousin.... same pose as her other cousin below... Melissa... LOL!
Melissa looks alot like Suzanna...
we trying to take tis pic for so long.... to get all of us in the pic at a different distance...
Here w/o Kelvin... and my sis (who hpn to be sleeping... as usual)...
My bro was out of the snap...
Me and Edwin were out... LOL!
ahhhHhhh... crazzy me again...
Edwin was so determined to build tis despite it falling alot of time...
all the lazy people... like my mom... hahhaa! 
Uno Stack-O became some construction... LOL!
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