should i?

u know... i keep thinking about it over and over again... it can never seem to leave my thoughts... i keep mentioning about how being single rocks and the freedom i'm getting...but at the end of the day, my life isnt as exciting and it's as if i'm missing out something in life... something essential... something divine... something pure...

but is it true love does not exist anymore? the reason why i dont wanna be in a relationship is because it hurts alot... hurts if something hpns... a risk which i dont dare to take...

but wat if i am losing a potential one? a true one... a guy who would accept me for the way I am? but is it really possible to find such guy? every guy i meet doesnt prove me anything... nothing seem worth in dem... there are, i admit, but it doesnt work out between us... or maybe i am not giving both of us a chance? I dont know...

I'm waiting for that special moment where I can confidently show my parents that he's the ONE... the ONE i love and wish to spend my life with... the ONE whom I can turn to... the ONE who I can love... Showing him unconditional love... loving him more and more each day... loving his flaws and accepting one another... who can stand my lame jokes... who can stand my talkativeness, my make-up-less face... and spending time together, a night out with a beautiful view spreading across, the wind blowing gently onto our faces and I bury my face against his chest for comfort and security...

there's so much of desires in me... a dream I've been building up over the years... each night with new dreams... getting more and more beautiful which i've yet to find someone to share it with...

I try to forget about it by brushing it off my mind like a stuborn kid, not letting it control my emotions and feelings... i try to concentrate on my studies and work... it helps... but it doesnt help much... i'm cheating myself... not that i nvr give chance to anyone...but they dont seem to be sincere... as much i am smiling on the outside, i have that burning desire in me which is getting stronger each time which I'm afraid it might juz die wen the moment eventually comes... i try to keep it burning, but i'm losing the energy and the time...

this topic keeps repeating in my blog therefore, i've decided on something... and I hope it will help me... I shall look out for potential ones and give it a chance... i shall wait... no more excuses... :)

but who will accept me? is another qn... the pic is up der... if a guy can accept the way i am in the pic, make-up-less (pathetic i know), let's go on a date... :) ok, tat was crap... but ya... patience is a virtue... :)